Physical trainer
by Bat-teen 28
Summary: Just had to. I'm sorry but I couldn't resist. P.S Don't have Jester as your physical trainer ever! It's not good!


Physical Trainer.

Note: Don't blame me I just couldn't resist. Hope you guys like! :D

* * *

"I'm telling you Eddie! You're not fit!" yelled Jester as she stormed after Edward as he stormed into his hideout.

"I am physically fit Jester! I do not need any practice!" Edward snapped back at her.

Jester glared at the back of his head. "I have to do all the damn heavy lifting Edward! I'm sick and tired of it!" she shouted.

Edward completely ignored her and continued to tap away at his computers.

Jester was in an irate mood however and she snuck of to the kitchen to get her favourite weapon of choice: the frying pan.

She stormed back into the room, the frying pan behind her back as she creeped up to Edward.

"Eddie, hear me out! I could make you physically fit! With my training you would be fit in one day, come on what do you say?" she said in a gentle tone.

"I say, you're insane. Do I look like I'm built for heavy lifting?" he questioned her, gesturing to his thin frame.

Jester just looked at him with half closed eyes. "Do I look like I'm built for heavy lifting?" she questioned back in a deadpanned voice.

Edward shrugged. "Better then me at any rate. Besides why would I want to do the heavy lifting if you're going to do it for me?"

Okay, Jester hadn't really planned that out right, but she knew how to get herself out of this situation, it was the same way she would get herself out of any situation like this: She resorted to violence.

"Sorry Eddie," she muttered as she smacked him on the back of the head, with the very heavy frying pan.

He slumped in his seat as he lost consciousness and Jester placed the frying pan on the table before going into his room to try and find that track suit she knew he had, because she once caught him wearing it.

Searching through the many green clothes Edward owned she finally found the bright green track suit and she pulled it out.

"The hardest part is going to get him to actually move," she muttered to herself as she walk back into the room.

As she stood their staring at the unconscious Edward she glanced up at his challenge rooms and a small smirk crossed her lips.

"Oh, that could work," she muttered to herself.

* * *

"Oww… Oh god, what hit me?" muttered Edward as he came to.

"A frying pan Eddie, you hit by a frying pan."

Edward blinked and shot up like a rocket, staring at the scene in front of him. How had he got into this predicament? Wearing that horrid green track suit, he had for some odd reason, in one of his many challenge rooms, but it looked like it had been tampered with and there was no sign of life any where.

Who had done this? Who would do this?

"Jester!"

"Hello."

Edward turned ready to face the killer clown when he saw what she was wearing and stopped himself.

She had a purple sweater on, black tracky bottoms, with purple stripes going down them and there was a purple cap on top of her black and white hair; around her neck was a whistle and a stop watch.

"What's going on?" he asked. It was the only question he could think to formulate with everything going on.

"Physical training Eddie. I'm gonna get Ya' fit weather you want to or not! Because if Ya' don't do what I tell Ya' well, you this?" she held up a remote control. "This controls every single thing in this room. If you don't do what I ask, then I press on of these!"

"But you'll be stuck in here with me!" laughed Edward. "Jester your plan will back fire on you!"

"I'm physically fit! I can get out of here! You on the other hand… well, I wish I could say it's been nice knowing you, but I'd be lying."

Edward glared. "You are not going to make me do anything I don't want to do!"

"Wanna bet?" laughed Jester as she held the remote up. "Now, first thing I want you to do, start running!"

"What if I don't run?" asked Edward, his eyes narrowed at Jester as she grinned a grin of pure glee.

"Well, you'll get electroshock therapy for free! Your choice Eddie, either run or get fried. Up to you," she cackled.

Edward gritted his teeth. "I hate you!" he shouted before he began to run.

Jester grinned and started the timer. "I love you too, now enough of the pleasantries, get running boy!"

Jester happily skipped over to the centre of the room, watching Edward as he ran around the outskirts of the room, constantly glaring at Jester as he ran past her, as she waved the remote and smiled at him.

Eventually Jester decided to blow the whistle and Edward about collapsed on the floor. He hadn't run like that… ever! Well, maybe when he did track in school but he was sure it wasn't even that long.

"I gotta admit Eddie, you surprised me. You run very well, almost like a professional, I was shocked," cried Jester as she walked over to him.

"I was…. always… oh god….. good at r-… running," he panted as he lay on the floor.

"Yeah I can see that. Now get up we still have more to do. Lots more!" laughed Jester as she yanked him to his feet.

"I think… I'm fit now Jester," Edward growled as she dragged him over to the pool he had in the room.

"Ten lengths!" she ordered.

Edward stared at her like she was crazy. "What? No! I can't do that, I just ran 30 laps!"

"Jester narrowed her eyes and waved the remote intron of him. "I believe I said ten lengths!"

Edward sighed and shrugged of the track suit before jumping into the pool.

Jester sat on the side, towel ready for him as she watched him go back and forth.

"That was only nine."

"That was ten!"

"It was only nine!"

"You can't make me swim!" he shouted.

"I'll let the mechanical shark out shall I?" she growled back at him, her thumb hovering above the button.

"Alright, alright!" Edward shouted as she went back to swimming.

"I could get used to this," Jester muttered to herself as he finished off his swimming torture and climbed out of the pool.

"Catch!" shouted Jester as she threw him the towel.

Edward began to dry himself off, while Jester wrote down his time on her check book she had with her, before she walked back over to him.

"Okay, time for the sit ups!"

Edward looked up at her with a look of pure pain. "Sit ups?!" he spluttered.

Jester nodded. "Twenty of them."

"Oh god!" complained Edward as he lay down, his knees were brought up and Jester, dutifully, sat on his feet so they wouldn't rise up and he could cheat.

"Does it have to be twenty?" he asked before he started.

"Twenty Eddie and no slacking!" she snapped at him, while she started the timer.

"I'm sure," down.

Up. "This is," down.

Up."Cruelty," down.

Up. "To rogues!" he panted as he went down again.

"Come Eddie keep going! You need to feel the burn!" cried Jester as she looked over his knees.

"I'm already feeling the burn!" he snapped as he came back up again.

"Yeah, well it ain't burning enough!" snapped Jester.

"I am so glad you weren't my coach at school," Edward snapped as he went back down.

"Less talk more action!" Jester hissed as she watched him.

"I am going to kill you at the end of this, that is of course I can survive this," Edward spat as he went back down.

"Surely that's twenty?" he asked.

"Just one more," Jester said while stopping the timer.

Edward collapsed onto the floor and lay there panting a little.

"Oh come on Eddie, I'm being kind to you," Jester moaned as she helped him to his feet.

"Jester, when you reach my age you will understand what I am going through," he panted.

"But you're young!" cried Jester.

"I thought I was but after this I'm realising I'm not as fit as I used to be," he cringed when he realised that he was, in fact, getting old.

Age was such a killer, maybe that's why he hated celebrating his birthday.

"Come on, you just need to do the pull ups," explained Jester as she pulled him over to the bar.

He sighed and began the tortuous task of pulling himself up, so his chin rested on the metal bar, before dropping down again.

"How many?" he asked.

"Twenty of them," Jester stated as she stood next to him. "Eddie when did you start?"

"What?"

"When did you start? Ya' know, when did you become a criminal?" asked Jester as she tapped her foot to a beat in her head.

"When I was twenty-one," Edward sighed as he pulled up.

18, 19… 20!

He dropped to the floor and turned to a stunned looking Jester.

"What?" he asked.

"You started when you were twenty-one. I never knew you were that young?" she cried.

Edward raised his eyebrow before following her towards his cane.

"Okay, now you gonna lift your cane up, but," Edward glanced at her as she climbed onto of his shoulder and then onto his cane, that he held horizontally across his body. "I'm going to be sitting on it."

Edward sighed and began to lift her up.

"I'm shocked you can do this Eddie," Jester stated as she ate a piece of chocolate.

"As am I. But it's amazing what the threat of an agonising death can enable you to do," he grumbled.

"How many?"

"Err.. I'll go easy on you and say ten."

"Thank the lord," muttered Edward.

"You were really twenty-one when you started this… insane rollocosta?" asked Jester as she jumped off, when he finally had finished off.

"Yes. Why do yo find that so hard to believe?" he asked.

"I'm trying to imagine what you would of looked like when you were twenty-one."

"Like this, but with less…" he grimaced a little. "Wrinkles and grey hair."

"Time just catches up with you, don't it?"

"You have no idea."

"You're right I don't. Press ups!"

"Oh.. must I?"

"Yes."

Edward muttered something under his breath before going down on all fours, Jester casually lay on his back and clicked the timer. "Go!"

He sighed and started his press ups. He was going to kill Jester when this was over, if he lived through it of course.

"Okay!" cried Jester. "You're done!"

Edward dropped himself and landed with a grunt on the floor.

Jester got off him and smirked. "Eddie. Just you wait. Tomorrow is going to be even more fun and now you're physically fit, you'll be fine!"

Edward slowly got to his feet and looked down at her with very tired eyes.

"Oh and by the way, this isn't a remote for anything in this room," laughed Jester as she span it around. "It's the TV remote, I couldn't resist Eddie, I'm sorry, but I had to get you fit and healthy!"

Edward's eye began to twitch. It wasn't a real remote!

"The thing with the remote! I couldn't believe you actually fell for it, I guess there's only one thing to say," laughed Jester as she grinned up at Edward, a truly evil glimmer in her eye.

"The,"

Edward couldn't believe it, he'd been tricked!

"Joke's,"

Tricked and played like a fool.

"On,"

But he was no fool!

"You!"

Edward lost it. "You little brat!" he yelled as he grabbed his cane and smacked her over the head.

"Ow! Eddie! I hardly think that- oww! Would you just let me- Ow! Explain!" Jester shouted as she sprinted away from him.

He won't be able to get me, I'm too quick and he's… not… fit…. oh god!

Jester grimaced as she ran and then she looked behind her to see Edward was hot on her trail, his eyes were full of anger but not the thing Jester wanted. Because she wanted to see tiredness in his eyes, but there was no hint of it in them.

"What have I done?" she muttered to herself as she sped up.

"Come back here you little brat!" yelled Edward as he held his cane above his head.

"Eddie corporal punishment is not aloud!"

"It is in my book! I always thought they should bring it back!"

"I don't!"

Jester and Edward ran around the hideout, Jester screaming she was sorry and that he really, _really_ didn't need to use his cane and Edward screaming how he was going to murder her.

Just then Enigma and Switch walked into the hideout and gaped at the scene in front of them.

Suddenly Jester ran towards them. "Keep the door open!" she yelled as she shot out of the hideout.

"Keep that door open!" Edward yelled as he shot out after her.

Switch and Enigma watched them.

"What the hell?" muttered Switch and Enigma was thinking the same thing.

"Ya' know what? I don't even want to know," Enigma stated as she walked back into the hideout, Switch nodded and followed her inside.

THE END.


End file.
